The Chartiers Valley Source

Taking a Swing at the Stupid Game of Golf

I'm not a golfer.Unless banking a shot off the mini-golf windmill and into the alligators mouth counts.

In my 31 years on this planet, Ive played a couple of rounds of par three and a handful of miniature golf games. Those contests reminded me exactly why Im not a golfer . . .

Im so bad that even the elephant next to the waterfall on the 16th hole laughs at me.

But my dad has been in love with the game for as long as I can remember. Businessmen salivate at the thought of holding meetings on the golf course. I must be missing something, right?

So one breezy day in late May, I decided Id give golf a real shot (pardon the pun). But instead of just walking onto a course unprepared and incur the hatred of the groundskeepers I thought Id take a professional lesson from Mike Angelo, the resident pro at Hickory Heights Golf Club in South Fayette.

I showed up at the course a bit intimidated, watching clearly-superior golfers hitting balls on the driving range. I could hear the whoosh of their clubs slicing the air and making crisp contact with the balls. The shots soared high against the blue sky, like a cleanup hitters home run, before plopping neatly onto distant rolling green hills.

Gulp. The one or two times Id gone to the driving range, I hit mostly firm grounders to short. If only Angelo knew what he was getting into when he accepted the challenge of fixing my golf game.

Politely introducing himself, he gave me a lesson in Golf 101. Its a stupid game, he says. He wasnt insulting the sport he loves. Rather, he was making the point that the truths behind many nuances of the game are actually the opposite of what you might think.

For example, the lower the number of the golf club, the further the ball will travel. A golf clubs heel and toe are part of the clubs head, not the club foot. And to hit a golf ball up into the air, you have to hit down on it.

That one especially caught me by surprise. But, as Angelo demonstrated, if you take a golf ball in your hand and squeeze so it rotates down, it will squirt up. Who am I to argue about the trajectory of a golf ball with Angelo, a man who not only teaches the sport professionally, but also taught science for 33 years?

He also explained some common golf misconceptions, or, the five worst pieces of advice you can hear on a golf course.

Golfers around the globe advise their struggling buddies to keep their head down, keep their eye on the ball, keep their head still, keep their left arm straight and swing the barrel. None of that is good advice.

We spent a good chunk of time on the set up, the portion of the swing that has nothing directly to do with a swing but, rather, with positioning yourself in front of the ball.

Ninety percent of my business is in the set up, he says. Its so important to have a good grip and your body aligned correctly.

As Angelo pointed out, mastering the setup can be a great equalizer in the game of golf. While most people could never be the equal of Tiger Woods athletically, anyone can be his equal in the set up portion of the game.

We worked through a number of drills and used several teaching aids (basically quirky golf gadgets) to isolate individual segments of my swing. We spent a few moments practicing the form and position of each step. Some felt awkward and some natural, but Angelo corrected and adjusted me during each phase.

This portion of the lesson was a bit tedious only because I wanted to see if I could actually send the little white ball for a ride, but instead, we were only thumping against an impact bag. Theres an old saying, practice makes perfect, comments Angelo.

Thats not true. I believe that practice makes permanent. If youre practicing the wrong way, that wont give you the perfect swing. Under normal circumstances, a lesson with Angelo would involve a greater amount of time on each aspect of the swing. But Angelo was aware of my plans to write this story, so he condensed three lessons into one to give me a full taste of his instruction.

Because of that, it didnt take long for Angelo to tee up a golf ball. He made sure my positioning was correct and told me to have at it. Do what we practiced, he says.

Still skeptical of this hit down on the ball idea, I got into my set up.

At Angelos suggestion, I swung lightly, just to get used to the motion of the swing. My hips pivoted, my body twisted, my arms extended and my wrists snapped. The head of my club made contact with the ball and, to my amazement, it soared high and straight (well, mostly straight).

Oh wow, I whisper, amazed at both myself and Angelo.

Dont get me wrong, I hardly mastered the game. But after about 30 minutes of instruction with a professional, I was able to give a golf ball that high, arcing trajectory that I had previously only witnessed from others at the driving range.

Stupid game, Angelo says. Hit down on the ball, and it goes up. iven his credentials, its not surprising he was able to take the swing of a brand new golfer and turn it into something that was at least passable.

Angelo has been golfing since he was 24 years old. After he retired from teaching in 1999, he devoted even more time to the sport, and he decided to combine two of his greatest passions teaching and golf into a new job.

He traveled to Florida and enrolled in Professional Golf Teachers and Coaches of America. The PGTCA instructors program is anything but a day on the links. Its an intensive program that includes a series of four tests: a written academic portion, an oral exam from a panel of pro golfers, a professionalism evaluation and, finally, a player ability test.

Angelo earned his Class A instructor certification from the organization in 2001, then a masters certification in 2005. Even after all of those achievements, he still travels to Florida each winter for additional instruction himself.

Angelo joined Hickory Heights as an instructor in 2001. Since then, hes built up a clientele composed of golfers of all ages, skill ranges, genders and sizes. He teaches everyone from beginners to advanced golfers. Its the best job Ive ever had.

And, from my personal experience, he is good at his job. Im even looking forward to learning more about this stupid game..

Brian Knavish can be reached at brianknavish@yahoo.com.